I was closed off. Soul searching. Learning more about who I am while expanding into new territory. And I didn’t know how to talk about what was happening yet.
However, I made friends with the skeletons in my closet. I learned a long time ago to own my darkness to sort through my childhood trauma and work with the obstacles that come my way, not against them.
I’m in a strange place.
I don’t recognize myself.
Who is that?
Are you OK?
No, but I will be.
You can do it, this is who you are.
It’s in the darkness that I find more of me. I get better at being me with every obstacle. And earlier this year, there were a few. I needed to level up. I’d outgrown the skin I was in and it was time to shift. I was too comfortable in my comfort zone.
As crazy as it may be, in order for me to get out of my comfort zone, I create chaos. Intentional chaos to help make the changes that I know need to be made. I was growing into a piece of me I only recently found our existed. I stopped recognizing my own thoughts as I sorted through this new piece of me. I was evolving.
I’ve also learned that within this chaotic place, compassion for myself and others grows. I have learned to give myself grace for the mistakes I make. I have learned that this place opens the door for me to be there for those around me. It allows me to see more light in the dark and shine brighter for those who are finding their way.
Just when you think that your dark place, your growing space, your unknown, is somewhere you might hide, it’s a place where you can simply be you.
Here you will find more truth, more compassion, and more empathy for yourself and others.
You will find more strength within yourself.
You will see more good in the world.
And that’s the OK part of not being OK.
Asheton Brown (@smasheton) is an athlete, coach, and unicorn ninja.