The Adult’s Guide to Making New Friends

Making friends as an adult sometimes feels like an extreme sport. 

Gone are the days when friendships flourished on playgrounds and play dates—when deep bonds were forged over trading Dunkaroos at recess and a shared love of pogo sticks. 

When one hits the age of, say, 30 friendships—both old and new—fall by the wayside. Obligations such as romantic partnerships, children, and career prioritization are just a few of the factors that caused one Dutch study to conclude that over a period of seven years, people had lost touch with half of their closest friends, on average. 

While a tighter network feels unavoidable when life gets busy, the art of friend-making suffers most, and by extension, so does human connection. 

If you’re feeling like a new friend would do you good, consider the following.  

You’re Not Alone

At a certain age, it’s easy to adopt the belief that our lives have assumed their final shape, and 

and the new people we meet have an optimal friendship network carefully curated over years. 

Not true. Most people are eager to welcome new friends, but feel uneasy making the first move. 

“Nobody waves, but almost everybody waves back.” This idea by psychologist Nicholas Epley sums up this game of companionship chicken perfectly. 

Leverage Your Interests

Book clubs. Yoga classes. Running groups. Sports leagues. One of the easiest ways to connect with future friends is to engage in group activities around your interests—because it alleviates the pressure to dive into the personal stuff right off the bat. 

Sites like Meetup and My Social Calendar are making it easier than ever to do this, and strangers become familiar faces in no time. 

Optimists Attract 

Positive thoughts bring positive results. It’s the law of attraction.