Stories From the Field

The student's name has been changed for privacy.

"The one who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones."
- Chinese Proverb

Being a preschool teacher is a big job – a big job that requires paying close attention to the little things. Because when it comes to helping a wounded child heal, the little things are the big things.

Tammy is a Playmaker. She teaches three- and four-year-olds in Mississippi. Every morning, Tammy starts the day with a dance party to help kids release any pent-up energy and tension and prepare for a day of play and learning. When the children finish dancing, they each get to give Miss Tammy a hug or a high five – their choice. All the kids in her class loved sharing that special moment of connection with Miss Tammy – all but one.

Daniel couldn't tolerate touch. He didn't hug, hold hands, or even give fist bumps.

Sadly, the trauma that Daniel experienced early on in life made it difficult for him to trust anyone enough to get that close to him.

Miss Tammy assured Daniel that it was okay that he didn't want hugs or hi-fives, but inside, it broke her heart. As a Playmaker, Tammy knew how important it was for children to receive loving touch and how harmful the lack of loving touch is to healthy development, but she knew that she couldn't pressure Daniel to do something he wasn't ready to do. So, Tammy did what Playmakers do; she goodified. Goodify is a term that Playmakers use to describe adapting and modifying activities or approaches to best meet the needs of the children in their care. Tammy bought a few cardboard clap hands and taped them to her desk. She then showed Daniel how to high-five the clap hands or give himself a hug after each morning dance party.

After that, when all the kids were giving Miss Tammy hugs and high-fives, Daniel was able to give high-fives to the clap hands on her desk or give himself a hug. Even though Daniel appeared happy, Tammy's heart still ached.

"I wanted Daniel to feel the love that his classmates were feeling, but I knew that I had to allow him time to analyze in his mind when it was safe." It took weeks for Daniel to feel safe enough, but the day finally came. Tammy recalls, "The music was playing. Everyone was laughing and dancing. Daniel came up to me and asked me for a hug. It melted my heart. Tears came to my eyes because I knew then that Daniel had begun to trust me. I am so thankful to Playmaker University for all the information, tips, and guidance they gave me. I've learned that you must have lots of patience, empathy, and love because you do not always know what children go through when they are absent. Many of them do not know how to express their feelings. That's where we come in - to pay close attention and guide them."

Daniel now loves giving "free hugs" every chance he gets.

He is more trusting of others because one teacher – one Playmaker – saw his pain, empowered him with creative options, respected his choices, and patiently waited for him to feel safe enough to share a hug. Because – as the song goes – you can't hurry love.