Disclaimer: I forfeit responsibility for any typos or misspellings in this piece, as extreme sleep deprivation is said to diminish cognitive capacity. Thangk you for your understanding. 

Optimism is a practice. 

Sometimes that practice comes easy—like watching the evening sun melt into the sparkling ocean with a marg in hand and a doggo at foot. And sometimes optimism is more difficult to access–like when your shoulder is dripping with curdled milk and your ears are ringing from the deafening cacophony of baby wails. 

As a rookie parent of 30 days, I find myself oscillating between these two states frequently. 

 If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the past month, it’s that baby books and tips from seasoned parents are helpful, but they’re a bit like trying to explain quantum physics with emojis—they can only take you so far. 

So, here are the eye-opening revelations I’ve encountered through my brief parenthood journey, and how I’ve chosen optimism in the face of them all.

1. A 40-pack of diapers lasts no more than four hours, and a full diaper weighs about as much as a small pickup truck. I’ve begun using this opportunity to crush a few sets of bicep curls, because as a new parent, you gotta exercise when you can. Free time is scarce.
   
   
2. When faced with the question, ‘Was that a smile or gas?,’ you can choose to believe the smile. Choosing happiness over flatulence is a general rule for life that never really expires. 
   
   
3. If a loved one gifted the baby a onesie and no one saw it, did the baby really wear it at all? As it turns out, the answer is no. Snapping photos is not only required to keep your people satisfied, but they can also be used to embarrass your child when he brings a dinner date in 18 years. Double score! 
   
   
4. Accidentally calling the baby by the dog’s name is a natural impulse during the first days. And weeks. And month. Uhh, am I ever going to stop doing this? I’m optimistic it’s possible. 
   
   
5. Everyone is a singer/songwriter, it’s only becoming a parent that affords the stage for these dormant talents. In just one month, I’ve written and performed what amounts to a full album of original songs including hits like Tinkle, Tinkle, Baby Got Bath, and Don’t Sleep (No Doubt remix). Fear not, I will be performing all of these at a karaoke bar near you when I can find a babysitter. 
   
   
6. Lastly, I recently asked my neighbor, a mother of three darlings, her favorite stage of her kids’ growth. Without hesitation, she responded: “The last one.” 

 I’ve been thinking about this often—about how true appreciation for experiences is so often felt in retrospect. The wide lens snapshot tends to be blurred in the present by the treadmill of everyday life. Failing to access the bigger picture, or try to, is to rob these unremarkable moments of their value—and turns diaper changes into chores and baby cries into emergencies. 

It’s only when you picture your life in the distant future, sitting around the dinner table embarrassing your child with old photo albums, the beauty of it all reveals itself. This is a perspective I try to harness during those wee hour diaper changes, and in an instant the present is restored with wonder. And then he pees all over my chest and we’re back to square one. 

Getting humbled is just part of a full life I guess.